Anil Thakraney | IPL Opener: Dekhne ka nahin tha!

05 Apr,2013

By Anil Thakraney

 

The great marketer Shah Rukh Khan forgot one very important marketing lesson: He promised a ‘never seen before’, ‘spectacular’ IPL opening ceremony. And it turned out to be a damp squib. The megastar should learn that one must only make a huge promise when one is 100% sure of delivering. Because when you don’t, you leave your customers very disappointed.

 

A few random observations on this flop show:

I saw Kapil Dev doing a maha stupid dance step. How the mighty have fallen! Guess the ex-ICL boss had no option but to bite the bullet, forget about his miscarriage, and embrace big bucks. All very well, I suppose, we all have to make a living. But Paaji shouldn’t have agreed to shake a leg, our ‘national treasure’ cuts a very sorry figure doing that.

 

CM Mamata Didi was all smiles (even as a student leader had got bludgeoned to death in her backyard). I am beginning to feel whenever the lady spots SRK, unke andar kuchh kuchh hota hai. 🙂 But sadly she was dressed in her usual low-cost cotton sari. Didi should have turned out in jeans and tees, that goes nicely with the IPL. And had she done so, everyone would have forgotten about Deepika and Katrina.

 

Meanwhile, the two Bollywood sirens went through the motions, dancing to the usual item songs. You could see they wanted to get their gigs done with quickly, the disinterest showed. Perhaps the steamy Kolkata summer bogged down our pretty ladies. SRK tried his best to look energetic, but what I recall most is him gasping endlessly into the microphone. Old age is catching up, boss!

 

For some strange reason, the long, boring opening sequence resembled a Russian circus. With what appeared like Ukrainian performers doing acrobatics. Er, what was the point of this nonsense? Even the cricketers looked very bored. Or, was the IPL boss Rajeev Shukla admitting, in his own sweet way, that the IPL is a circus?

 

Missed RCB boss, Dr Vijay Mallya. Usually the high life loving liquor baron occupies the prime spot at such glittering parties. Guess the man’s got lots to worry about these days. And if Kingfisher’s unpaid employees saw him air kiss Deepika and Katrina, they won’t be very amused. Wise of Dr Mallya to keep away.

 

Finally, the Cal junta appeared to be enjoying the Pitbull blast. And it’s good the rapper kept his foul mouth in check, usually Pitbull likes to write lyrics that are offensive to women. Had they crossed the line, our dudes would have found themselves at the receiving end of Didi’s neeli patti Bata chappals.

 

PS: Excellent ad against domestic violence. Creeps you out, as it should. What makes the ad very effective is that it feels very real.

 

 

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