Anil Thakraney: Boring Golden Globes

18 Jan,2013

By Anil Thakraney


The movie awards season is underway, and for the next month or so we shall be overloaded with the TV versions, both national and international. I shall review the assorted Bollywood award dramas along the way, but must say the start to the season has been less than exciting.


As always, the Golden Globes opened the awards jamboree, and I was all set for some fun, wit and glory on VH1. Thing is, Hollywood award nights are usually crisp and sans all the natak that happens with Bollywood awards, so one expects to focus mainly on the winners and their winning performances. And some funnies from the show hosts. The Golden Globes did not disappoint on that count, and thank god their stars don’t perform raunchy item numbers on stage. It was a well-conceived show, so then why am I cribbing?


Well, it’s got to do with the winners and their monotonous acceptance speech. Ten years ago, the trophy holders would go on and on and on, and make a billion viewers across the globe cringe with disgust. This prompted the organisers to get smart, and they came up with the idea of playing elevator music when the award acceptance speech time was up. Some die hard winners continued to ramble regardless, and so they started the practice of raising the music levels to blank out the extra verbosity. But clearly, Hollywood stars still haven’t learnt the virtue of a quick, snappy ‘Thank you everyone.’ They are still rambling and rambling like hell.


The big problem (and thankfully this doesn’t happen with desi stars) is the desperate need to thank members of the family. Mother, father, husband, wife, sister, cousin, Moti, the dog, everyone. These incestuous greetings have nothing to do with the world at large, but that doesn’t discourage the winners. Ideally, we faithful viewers should be rewarded with a quick insight from the winning performance, a funny anecdote from the shoot or stuff we’ll otherwise never get to know. That would also make the show entertaining.


I think time has come for Hollywood award show organisers to clamp down hard on family homilies. They should play Himesh Reshammiya’s scintillating nasal songs the moment a winner begins belting out the tiresome thank-you laundry list. 🙂


PS: Haha. Found this ancient ad in my archives. This is America in the good ol’ fifties. In just sixty years, the world has turned upside down. If an organisation dares to release such an ad today, the brand manager and the ad agency staffers would get lynched under pointy stiletto heels. But have the mindsets really changed? That’s the moot question.


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