Ranjona Banerji: #Justsaying on no paper day!

20 Sep,2012

By Ranjona Banerji

 

There are no newspapers in Mumbai today (Ganapati festival holiday for vendors), so everything seems wrong. Some of us need that daily cocktail of murder and municipality to get the morning going. TV doesn’t help.

 

This leads to a grumbly mood. Which leads you to ask questions. Like in the Nokia ad where Shah Rukh Khan is driving around with a girl, who’s the girl? He plays himself and cannot ask the general public for suggestions about where to eat for fear he might be mobbed. So he uses an app on his phone. But when he reaches the restaurant, someone shouts “Shah Rukh Khan” anyway and he just looks sheepish. So what have we learnt to make us want to buy this Nokia phone? I don’t know. And more importantly, who’s the girl? If he’s himself then she should be someone famous too. As they say in twitter land (a country in which I live a few hours a day): #Justsaying.

 

There’s another ad where man and a woman are driving around in some Maruti car. She points to where she wants to go. He asks where’s your ring. She says at the jeweller. He says let’s get it. The ad ends. Huh? #Justsaying.

 

Anushka Sharma is back with her superior internet connection and her long-suffering boyfriend. Something about a bill being Rs 1499 instead of Rs 1500. Didn’t get it. When I was 6 years old and Bata tried it this pricing scheme with its shoes, me and my friends knew it was a hoax. And there was a lot more you could buy with Re one in the late 1960s. #Justsaying.

 

Rajesh Builders, which I had I confess never heard of, has renamed itself Rajesh Lifespaces. It had jacket ads in almost every Mumbai newspaper on Tuesday to announce this. The change “conclusively shows our commitment to be ever relevant to our time, our industry and most of all, our customers.”

 

I don’t know about the time and the industry but to customers, only one thing is “ever relevant”: lower real estate prices. #Justsaying.

 

(You can tell how desperate I am for reading matter if I’ve taken to the ads in yesterday’s newspapers.)

 

But there’s another real estate ad which is even more intriguing but I just can’t remember the name of the builder. This one says that you should move somewhere (like their property) where your children can learn about the “birds and the bees from the birds and the bees”. That is, your children have to run around the property watching insects and birds to find out about sex. I don’t know about the rest of you but I see disaster ahead in such an exercise. #Justsaying.

 

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