Poonam Pandey for Anna movement?

04 Jun,2012

Ranjona Banerji

By Ranjona Banerji

 

Urgently required: new media managers for the Anna Hazare movement against corruption. Applicants must have prior experience in rebuilding lost reputations, soothing over internal fissures, creating mass hysteria and taking the Internet by storm. No bar on people who have fudged a few travel bills or Income Tax returns here and there. However, no one with any links to the Congress Party need apply. RSS and other “social organisations” are permissible. Chances of yoga gurus being admitted is at this moment ambivalent.

 

Okay, they haven’t put out such an ad, but they might do sometime in the future. Because Anna Hazare, Prashant Bhushan, Arvind Kejriwal, Kiran Bedi and Baba Ramdev are back on TV screens, desperate to get back some of what they lost when the movement fizzled out in Mumbai the last time.

 

Oh, all those heady weeks of being on prime time TV night after night. Imagine the fun, rushing to buy new outfits, putting all that makeup on, practising your best self-righteous pursed lips pose in front of the mirror for hours, bristling with sanctimonious rage when anyone questioned you, trying to hide your contemptuous laughter when anyone had another point of view – where had it all gone?

 

Sadly, in spite of their best efforts, it doesn’t appear to be coming back in the same force. What the media giveth the media taketh away. Often without any sense or pattern. One day, you’re god’s answer to India’s problems, the next day your own problems are headline news. Instead of focusing on the wicked prime minister, the media is looking at fights between Ramdev and Kejriwal – don’t they know that Kejriwal is a diabetic and that’s why he had to leave the stage on Sunday after being rebuked by Ramdev? Diabetics, it is well-known, don’t like to be crossed. Especially if their name is Kejriwal. Or even, Arvind.

 

The need for help is glaring because according to wicked media reports, Kiran Bedi even wants Poonam Pandey, the starlet (actually I don’t know if she ever “starred” in anything) who took off all her clothes after the KKR victory as she had promised, to join the movement. The mind boggles. Apparently, Pandey’s many twitter followers were Bedi’s reason, not supposedly Pandey’s shapely derriere which she revealed to the world. Barack Obama and Ashton Kutcher also have millions of followers. Bedi can approach them next. And, Sunny Leone, porn star turned Bollywood hopeful, must be feeling quite bad.

 

Even more tragically, a do-gooding film star has jumped into the fray, tackling social issues plaguing our nation. (Not corruption yet). Once this film star was on the movement’s side. Now he seems to be stealing all the limelight.

 

Yes, that ad is badly needed.

 

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