Anil Thakraney: Why I shall duck the IPL

04 Apr,2012

By Anil Thakraney


Like every year, this year too I shall give that circus called the IPL a quiet miss. As far as I am concerned, this is anything but cricket. It’s actually one huge outdoor party, where the Page 3 types and other minor celebs get to shake a leg in front of cheering masses. Not my idea of a relaxed evening. I’d prefer to watch Crime Patrol and Balika Vadhu. As usual. Though I have to admit I will, very reluctantly, drop by now and then. Only because I am a paid writer and can’t shut myself out of anything. Not even trash.


Anyways, here are my big problems with this tamasha:

Because there have been such dubious results in some of the matches in the earlier seasons, you have to wonder if the IPL isn’t a hot-bed for match fixing. Let me put it this way: I would be entirely surprised if the tournament turns out to be all clean. Good story for tabloids in India. A massive expose crying out to happen.


Because the IPL has become a VRS scheme for retired cricketers. A pension plan for the old, burnt-out boys. Ex-players like Ganguly are an embarrassment to watch. And Dravid, in this format, fits in as nicely as I fit into a Page 3 bash. Not really interested in watching this joke.


Because the tournament is infested with controversies. Not a single thing about the IPL sounds aboveboard. Right from the dodgy auctioning process to team ownership issues to the TV rights scandal to allegations of money laundering… there are rats lurking everywhere under the glitzy red carpet. Who on earth would want to waste time on such an incredible tournament.


Because there is an almost zero regional flavour in each team. I still cannot bring myself to support the Mumbai team, most of the players continue to be from other regions. Ditto for other teams. Just to give you one example: Dhoni is as far removed from Chennai as Gorakhpuri flicks are from Amma’s DVD collection. So there is no real passion for the game. It’s time pass at best.


Because it’s no fun watching Neetaben and her chubby boys jumping and dancing post the match. I suspect their own (now ex) team captain, Sachin Tendulkar, gets pretty scandalized by their shenanigans. Maybe that’s why he opted out of captaincy. So that ben hugs Bhajji instead.


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Because the IPL is anything but cricket.




PS: Haha. A real cool ad from Axe. On how to keep pace with a totally flirty girlfriend. So much more fun than all those silly ads that feature women chasing the Axe man around. And a super script too!


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One response to “Anil Thakraney: Why I shall duck the IPL”

  1. Thakraneyscritic says:

    Again i am saying noone really cares if u go to the ipl or not. Basically ur a small fly trying to seek attention.