Noosemaker: The fable of Rahul Gandhi & the other chap

12 Mar,2012

By Ranjona Banerji


Pity poor Rahul Gandhi. There he was riding around Uttar Pradesh on his white charger, eating with a Dalit family here, saving a Dalit village there, quite the prince of India, promising deliverance from the evil dragon. In the strange twists that best illustrate fairy tales, the dragon was a damsel – but contrarily, a damsel who was causing distress.


The media sometimes liked the young prince and sometimes it didn’t. The opposition all hated the young prince. And the Congress Party tried every sycophantic trick to woo the young prince. The prince himself was so involved in saving the state from the damsel that he paid no attention. The queen and the princess were clear that the prince was only interested in helping and wanted nothing for himself. The biggest advantage that the prince had was that he was better looking than most of his courtiers or indeed than the upstart wannabe princelings, who belonged to other, lesser parties.


Little did the prince know that the damsel would be vanquished not by him but by another putative heir – one who blindsided him with a cycle which was obviously more effective than his horse as a dragon-slaying device. Suddenly everyone counted. The prince of India travelled so many thousand km and delivered so many speeches. But his quiet rival did more of everything. Had the prince failed? Was he a hoax? Had he missed the woods for the trees? Did he have any dragon-slaying and state-saving abilities at all? Would he ever become king emperor?


After all, the other chap has been made chief minister of Uttar Pradesh by his grateful father and the sulking dragon has retreated behind a statue.


In India, it must be noted that while sons may replace fathers and daughters may take over from mothers, there is only one dynasty. So the prince of India did what he did best. He dimpled his apology to the people of India and his mother, the queen, said they would live to fight another day.


Awwww, said the people, that’s so noble and sweet.


Damn said the white horse, no rest for me.


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