Anil Thakraney: The Oscar Bore-fest

28 Feb,2012

By Anil Thakraney

 

A few random observations on THE most watched TV show on Mother Earth, the 2012 Academy Awards, which was telecast live on Star Movies.

 

Our pride and joy, AR Rahman’s gig was a ‘blink and miss’. The maestro should take offence and refuse further participation. So should Mr and Mrs Anil Ambani, who were probably seated in the last row.

 

Some of the presenters seem to have been inspired by the trashy stuff that goes on during desi award shows. The inane, idiotic, incessant chatter on stage. Which young SRK has become an expert at. While I am happy that India is impacting the world, events like the Oscars must ensure award presenters are barred from aping our unfunny jokers.

 

But what they SHOULD have learnt from us, they haven’t. The Oscars was a bore- fest; much too long drawn out with too many categories being awarded, and with too much self back-slapping. I almost dozed off mid way through. Pity that the show which honours the world of entertainment must be so yawny. Sizzling dance performances from the Hollywood hotties would have broken the ennui. Penelope Cruz and Natalie Portman were in the house. Some ‘Sheila Ki Jawaani’ action from them would have been nice.

 

Every single nominated individual was in the house (except Woody Allen, who’s apparently outgrown the Oscars). This means there was no awards leak. Compare this to Indian movie award events, where only the winners turn up. If we ever hope to reach anywhere close to where the Oscars is in terms of prestige, the first thing we need to do is plug the bloody leaks.

 

Host Billy Crystal’s humour has all dried up with age. He looked liked a stoned, embalmed Egyptian mummy. Or, maybe he was ordered by the organizers not to cause the slightest offence. Poor man. Guess when it comes to fragile egos, Hollywood stars are no better than ours.

 

However, one must say what did save the show a little bit, which was otherwise headed for disaster, was Angelina Jolie showing off her long shapely right leg. Total paisa vasool.

 

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[youtube width=”400″ height=”200″]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhAg0COnqds[/youtube]

PS: Outside the Oscars auditorium, Sacha Baron Cohen dropped Kim Jong IL’s ‘ashes’ on the anchor. The notorious comedian, who was banned from appearance on the stage, made a surprise entry on the red carpet and created a scene. Good fun. He should have been on the stage. He was sorely missed.

 

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